Why is EVERYTHING big news?

Something that has bothered me about reading up on football news these days is that EVERYTHING becomes an issue. Everything is blown out of proportion. People seem to feed off the fact that some footballer somewhere is screwing up things for himself. For me, it resembles the glee of a woman when she gets in the know after looking through the gossip columns in those destroyers of society, tabloids. Statements made by players are taken, stirred around a little while that much-needed spice is added and then served up to the unassuming public that consists of… you guessed it, YOU and ME!

The perfect example of this in recent times would be the statements made by Arshavin. I like to think of myself as someone who gets the implications of quotes when I read them off the screen but apparently there are guys out there who are a billion times better than me. Here’s what he said:

“The year and a half in England has significantly changed me. I became calmer, more professional and spend more time with my family. As for football I can say that my style has also altered – it is more effective but less sparkling. I don’t remember when was the last time I score a really beautiful goal. It’s frustrating. I tried to analyse this, but can find no answers. It is likely that my injuries last year had an affect, because on three occasions I was out for a month, but it is feeble to talk about injuries.”

The headline above that? I’ve lost my spark at Arsenal, claims £15m Russian star Andrey Arshavin! I really don’t know how whoever wrote this got to work in The Daily Mail but one thing that’s obvious is that he doesn’t have a shitty clue that the words spark and sparkle don’t mean the same darn thing. In fact if anything Arshavin has found his spark at Arsenal. He’s playing the way any attacker at his age should and would. He’s determined going forward, and while he’s not as stylish as everyone wants him to be, he’s still efficient and gives a lot to the team. Moreover, losing spark and losing form aren’t really the same thing. But then again, how else can one keep a job in the press other than blowing things up and making them seem terrible?

The latest news hype surrounding Arsenal – Dynamo Kiev’s Maksym Koval being linked with a move to the Emirates. Okay, it’s a good scoop. Wenger MAY sign a young keeper. But, to say he’s on the radar as a replacement for Almunia? What?! Are they serious? He’s 17 and has made thirteen starts in the Russian League and suddenly he’s touted as Arsenal’s solution to the keeper problem? Even Schwarzer would have been a better buy than a 17-year-old who’s only claim to fame until now is that he made a senior debut at the age of 15. His tag – Next big goalkeeping prospect in Europe. Hype is the name of the game and if you aren’t playing prepare to be relegated to the obscurest obscurity you’ll ever obscurely imagine.

But one thing has to be said. There are these figures in the footballing world who just can’t help but let their mouths flap and spew shite. Who am I talking about? Enter, Stuart Pearce. If you don’t know him (I won’t be surprised if you don’t) he’s the baby sitter taking care of English football’s future (if there is one). The U21 manager, has proved on quite a few occasions that he’s an annoying pest and deserves to be turned over and spanked a good hundred times by daddy. What did he do? Why? Well here’s the shite about Wilshere the guy insists on spewing after facing Portugal:

“There have been one or two stories in regard to him. Whether there is any truth in them or not I am not particularly interested — but I felt he had taken his eye off the ball. This game was too important to put a player on the pitch who hadn’t had a full focus in respect of that.”

Huh?! Now, why in the world would you make things worse for the young man? As it is, it was hell reading through all those reports about him being in a fracas (I wonder why they can’t all it like it is – a fight) and to add to the misery Stewey here thought he’d run his mouth. There was a huge uproar when Wilshere was left out of the senior team squad to face Bulgaria and Switzerland – again an example of how stupid the media can be. These are qualifiers for god’s sake! If I was manager I’d probably have to be drunk to pick 18 year olds, especially after my team hadn’t qualified the last time the event happened. But let’s leave that aside for now. Sure, there were problems and sure there were some rather embarrassing things for the man to handle but why in the world did Pearce have to go on the press referring to the shite? I’m not asking him to deny the reports, that would be stupid even for him. But any manager with a little PR training would know how to avoid sticky situations for himself and his players. Mourinho does a better job covering up for his players and I doubt he ever even listens to himself when he goes on blurting out nonsense. And yet Pearce has trouble controlling his tongue. Arrogance or stupidity? That’s for you’ll to decide.

Another guy who’s taken to talkshitedness is some loser called Kanchelskis. Kanchelskis? Or is it Can-Chelsea-Kiss… my ass? Whatever the pronunciation he seems to think Arshavin’s over rated. Oh! Okay! Now guess what, no one gives a rat’s ass! Yet, it’s out there for us to read.

What irritates me more though is the coverage Tony ‘Montana’ Pulis got for sobbing his sorry self all the way to the FA. Who cares about that prick anyways? But hey, why don’t we put it out there because we really have nothing better to do and if we don’t deliver a thick-as-hell newspaper every morning we might just get run out-of-town by men and women waving frying pans over their heads because they were denied their dose of pointless gossip. At least for the sake of the darn environment, please, and I mean this, please, just save paper and stop printing shit. No one cares and even if they did it’s time for them to stop caring. What do you think will happen to a nation reading quotes from Tony ‘Montana’ Pulis and that other cockney idiot with the reddest nose in the Premier League (sorry SAF, but your reign as Rudolph of England is officially… OVER!)?

Hey now, it isn’t fair that I have a go at Fleet Street alone, what about our friends in Spain? We don’t want them feeling left out do we? They take it to the next level. They don’t just stop at being stupid like the English press, they insist of being humongous piss offs as well. They’ve begun the tapping up process for Fabregas all over again today. His last season it seems. Let’s not go into whether it’s true or not but the very fact that they persistently behave like that annoying cousin who keeps making out every thing you do to be bad is, while at the same time annoying, rather amusing. How desperate can you get? After what you did this summer you’d be lucky to get a cup of tea from Wenger and that too in your face.

Anyways, the media and its various irritants and sometimes amusing issues are in a world of their own. Entering that world would be to life, what Tony Pulis is to the game of football- detrimental. All we can do is love the game and more importantly love Arsenal. Come on Gunners!

As we wait for the suffering of the Interlull (as Arseblogger puts it) to end I wish you all a good day ahead of you’ll and a football-less weekend. Stay sane and stay alive, Arsenal will be back!

Cheers.