Spurs In Biggest Comeback Ever Shock?

Real Madrid have conceded four goals on two of their last three trips to England in the Champions League. Hope.

~ Opta (via twitter)

I’ve been off the football landscape somewhat since leaving White Hart Lane on Saturday. Fresh from our first three points in what felt like years, goals from Peter Crouch, pinpoint accurate passing from the returning and missed Huddlestone and a goal from the little genius that is Modric. However, there were plenty of negatives too such as terrible defending, no right sided midfielder, no changes when they were needed and at times being pinned back at home by a Stoke side who struggle away from the Brittania. I didn’t want to concentrate on those though so as a result I couldn’t bring myself to write anything. Instead I just enjoyed hearing the results from Anfield and Old Trafford. Is fourth spot still realistically possible?

I also think a large part of my apparent lethargy towards Spurs discussions in the last 3 days is based on tonight’s game. In the pre-match build up to the first leg I said I couldn’t see a way to beat Madrid but I did believe we could get a result that would mean the return leg was game on. Unfortunately as we all know that wasn’t the case and as much as we read stats and try our best to believe we could be part of something special it just won’t happen.

However, lets just pretend for a second shall we? 4-0 down against what some people thought was a poor football side. Worse in fact than AC Milan and Inter Milan I was told. Oh how I sniggered at those opinions and yet when I was proved right I didn’t have the sense of smugness that usually follows. I struggle to even pretend it’s possible because it’s not but as I said, lets pretend. If the shock of all shocks were to happen what would the result be? Surely not 5-0 against a team that is built to counter attack more than we are? Could we keep them to a solitary goal? That’s more possible but then that means scoring 6 ourselves. Based on our defending on Saturday and Madrid’s attacking talent it’s far more likely to be 7-2 or 8-3.

Fast forward to the end of the game and White Hart Lane is jumping so much it actually manages to move itself to Stratford just so all those who liked the idea could experience it for one night. The likes of Ronaldo and Kaka say they can never play again other than at White Hart Lane because this truly is God’s house. Redknapp is raised on the shoulders of all his doubters, myself included and carried to the nearest plastic surgeon who performs sixteen face lifts which we pay for so he can finally swap Sandra for Louise while Jamie’s working for Sky. Watching the game unfold in front of their eyes UEFA and the remaining teams in the competition agree to just give the Champions League trophy to Michael Dawson instead of bothering to play the semi’s and final.

The great thing about fiction is I could even add that at 7-3 in the 91st minute with Spurs looking doomed, Redknapp makes one of his strangest decisions to date that involves picking a dashingly handsome man, who just happens to be celebrating his birthday today, from the crowd and sending him on for the disappointing van der Vaart. As Rafa storms down the tunnel to “receive treatment” he turns just in time to see me leap 13 feet into the air, trap the ball between my knees and go on a mazzy run that only a 6’4″ man with little pace can do. Past one player, past another. The crowd rise to their feet in hope more than anticipation. Another defender is laid on his arse as I jinx my way past them all before I stop, salute the park lane, scream yid army, kiss my badge and proceed to flick the ball up turn my back to goal and bicycle kick it into the top corner. At that moment the noise is deafening as 6.91 billion people around the world chant my name. It’s my first and last game as I retire to spend more naked time with Reece Witherspoon.

So that’s the fiction part. It’s great to dream. It’s what football is all about or at least it’s what football used to be about before money really became the be all and end all. Can we honestly go through the tie and play Barcelona in the semi final? No, but we can win tonight. It certainly won’t be easy and if I had to put my money anywhere I’d still put it on Madrid but at White Hart Lane we’re good, unless you’re Wigan of course.

I don’t even think Redknapp will play the game looking to score 4 goals. I think all he’ll try to do is get a victory and that’s fine by me. Tonight’s about pride and saving face. Sure, we got a beating in Spain but this is Real Madrid, this is a team who bring Kaka off the bench. We bring Jenas on. I wonder if Mourinho still wants our JJ? If we go out to score 4 goals we will concede which means we’ll have to score another. If we get a little bit of luck and play well we could score a couple of goals without reply and then who knows. It might at least give us something exciting to pray for with 20 minutes to go. Personally I doubt we’re good enough to score more than 2 goals, or I should say Madrid are too good to concede more than 2 goals. They’re probably too good to concede more than 1 goal unfortunately.

So the tie for me is completely over but there are plenty of dreams still to play for. A victory over a very good European team is tonight’s, followed by a north London derby victory, a West Brom win and ending a baron spell at Stamford Bridge. Give me 9 points out of 9 going into the last month of the season and I’d even settle for a defeat tonight but momentum is the key at this time of year as it proved so vital last season. 36,000 singing fans, cheering the team and applauding them for a very enjoyable European adventure is all we can do, getting the result they need so they get that belief back again and finish in the top 4 is entirely up to them.

COYS

PS. I’d settle for penalties

PPS. While you’re singing, how about lots of pro Spurs songs, nothing mentioning Arsenal and definitely nothing mentioning Adebayor.