The all important six pointer against man City is all but here and if rumours are to be believed Harry is going with Defoe leading the line.

OK so it hasn’t worked the last 100 times we’ve tried it but hey, 101st time lucky eh.

I can see all the tub thumping ‘we’re gonna do it’ articles about and I sincerely hope this post comes back to haunt me but I’m now very pessimistic. Our massive strength (in the continued absence of a prolific forward) is our attacking midfield which requires a big guy up front who has good movement and can hold up the ball to bring them into play.

Now our whole game is going to be slinging balls through to Defoe who will be playing in nobody but just greedily snatching at everything because he is so desperate to impress, like he did when he was on his 100th goal and had that T shirt on. The frustrating thing is that we are at full strength and I would actually really fancy our chances, but this will adversely effect the way we play.

It drives me mad that we haven’t prepared for this by buying a striker to give us our first decent, permanent strike force since Berbatov and Keane (even try and buy back Berbatov if need be; we took Teddy back after all), but at least we should be playing Pavlyuchenko. I’m no great fan of the Russian, but he is the nearest thing we have to a like for like replacement for Adebayor. Defoe is effective playing off a big man like Pav or Ade and not as a lone striker.

I feel for Defoe. Van der Vaart hasn’t scored since October and he is still on the bench despite having a good scoring record this season (scorer of more goals coming off the bench than any other player in Prem’ history), but tomorrow is not the time to drop Rafa. He is a big game player and I want him on the pitch, but not behind Defoe. It doesn’t bloody work, it never has worked, and I doubt it ever will work.

If we see out this transfer window with no new, line leading striker and Adebayor gets injured then we will be stuck with this situation for the rest of the season and be fighting tooth and nail to hang on to fourth. Levy has earned a lot of respect from Spurs fans and rightly so, but with no Europe and teams in transition etc we have a genuine and rare chance at the title this season and few will forgive him if we throw it away.

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @RobertReedUK

A day to forget, yet in many ways the catalyst for the run that now finds us sitting pretty in 3rd and aspiring for more. We made the necessary additions prior to the transfer window closing which birthed a solid fluent midfield that has been a roaring engine ever since. Perhaps in need of an oil change, but it’s incredible how finely tuned you can become when slotting in the right ilk of player(s) into the side (and sometimes struggle when said players are missing).

We still need to consolidate for the remaining games ahead. It’s not just about the next game. Momentum is paramount which means its the performance that matters more so than the result (although the latter is still key to truly making a statement of intent).

City are however a far stronger unit of players with extraordinary wealth of depth (ignore Mancini and his complaints). No shame in defeat as long as we’re not bending over after handing them the lube. But the very thought of defeat, I’d rather not entertain. Like I said, we have a right to expect something out of the game. I’m sure our players will believe that to be the case too. Especially because of the spanking dished out to us at the Lane.

It’s a Galáctico type of game (not in any way as supernova as any given El Clasico). But when comparing both sides, like for like…there’s some tasty match-ups and plenty of match-winning talent and show-piece skill on display. And although they excel in certain areas (more so than us) we can arguably go toe-to-toe with them. Up front, they’ll have an obvious advantage. But they’re missing key players in key areas (Toure and Kompany). I’m hoping we play it on the ground (no requirement for the hoof), push patiently forwards and look to get the ball out to Bale and Lennon with Modric involved as much as possible in the centre. It’s going to be bruising in there, shame there’s no Sando. Have to hope Parker re-discovers his tempo. I’d rather not think too much about Dawson facing Dzeko and Aguero.

Luka v David in the battle of the influential.

If King plays, we win.

van der Vaart’s form and subsequent (hopeful) impact in this game is also imperative – what with us starting Defoe up top, Rafa will have to make sure he moves into forward positions rather than get lost in deeper ones. We have to find ways to pressure Savic.

We have to adapt (no Adebayor) and continue to make do without other key players (although King might yet be the surprise inclusion).

Is this make or break? Of course not. Mainly because I’m not sure what this is meant to make or break. Other than perhaps the morning after headlines. February in it’s entirety will make or break. Let’s not lose sight of the marathon.

Few are expecting an upset (City’s home record testament to that – ten out of ten). So we’ve got nothing to lose. I mean that. Go for the glory. It’s the Tottenham way. Although that might involve plenty of pragmatism, with midfield possession and counter-attacks rather than romantic notions of gallivanting and swashbuckle. Worth noting that in the last two games up there, its been intense and tightly fought. It won’t be easy for us. Equally so, for them.

For now, sink your head into your hands and sigh ever so gently if you so wish to remind yourself of the debacle of the 1-5. On (super) Sunday however, hold your head up high and believe. We are Tottenham.

I’m buzzing off the hype. Feet still on ground. I’ll only levitate if applicable at the final whistle.

Positive

Spurs 1 City 5

Okay, so some perspective. We lined up with no defensive midfielders and started with Peter Crouch upfront and then found ourselves out numbered in the middle and final third quicker than you can say ‘tactics’. Once again, there was an element of the disjointed and perhaps even a touch of the stubborn (what with Crouch supposedly on his way to Stoke City yet in the starting line-up – perhaps a message from gaffer to chairman forming yet another twist in their alleged damaged relationship).

Placing aside in-house disagreements, we lined up not only with a team not shaped to contain City but a team that lacked the belief they could do that and anything more. But that’s not to say it was a chaotic calamity filled 90 minutes of football. At 2-0, it flattered City some what. After that, they deserved to ruin our afternoon at will and with ease. We let them with no reply of our own. Once more, apologetic.

There is no excuse for losing 5-1 at home. But it was the most passive 5-1 defeat you’re likely to witness. City simply picked us off with clinical football. Confident in themselves, each other and their formation and confident in front of goal. Even though they were not completely fluid (expected considering their new players – makes it even more bitter a pill to swallow for us).

They were enjoying their day and their football. How ironic considering at the start of last season it was them containing us whilst we swashbuckled down the flanks and through the middle, with only Hart stopping us from running away with it.

City have grown with the aid of several million pounds and no wage cap. We’ve stagnated if you take a look at the back end of last season and how we stopped performing. But preparation for this one has hardly been great considering we appear reluctant to compete at the top end of the transfer market. Perhaps because fiscally, we can’t. Ambitious targets beyond our reach. Still, you would have hoped for decisive action by chairman and manager. Instead we have suggestions they don’t quite see eye to eye and once more, transfers will need to take place in the final couple of days or so.

The visitors have found their groove. We’ve lost ours.

Again, injuries don’t help but if we look weak in key areas pre-match then you’d want admittance from Redknapp that perhaps we need to be shrewd, cunning in our formation and our strategy. Not the Tottenham way. Not what I previewed yesterday. But it looked to me like the manager believed we could perhaps play them and match them pound for pound when the reality was they were far too polished whilst we simply did not work as a unit and had various degradations of form from individuals.

Modric played. But his productivity hardly outstanding because the players around him were distinctively average. But he played okay. Not sure why he was subbed. Didn’t make a difference either way in the end. Player not looking at the manager or applauding the fans when walking off the field of play. Disgruntled.

The goals (most of them) we conceded were not defended well at all. Embarrassing stuff, lack of any apparent focus. We had chances, but how many times do we have to sigh in despondence when said chances are not taken? It was City playing with intent and us presenting them with the red carpet. Never red, indeed. Red with anger today.

Nasri, Aguero and Silva. Stick them in our team then watch how different the result would have been. Hard knock life. We still have quality in abundance. We need to shake off the rust from last season’s disappointing finish and reclaim that grit and spine we had so famously in 2010. Think back, we had injuries then too. Perhaps not so many issues with central midfield as we do now.

We’ve played two games and lost two. Arguably against the two strongest sides in the country. Our problems have been illustrated in quite a humiliating manner with regards to the scoreline for all to analyse and discuss. It’s obvious what we need in terms of signings. We’ve got us a striker. We need DM cover. We could do with a centre-back. We could still do with a right-sided forward to compete with Lennon and give us options when playing two up front.

Adebayor will bring us that much needed cutting edge. Rafa will have a far better forward to play off if Harry continues with the current formation. Only takes one moment, once slice of luck or inspiration to completely change the course of season and set us on our way.

Crisis? The fact we are even discussing avoidance of a ‘crisis’ after two games…well, its over the top. It hurts, but we might have to admit that the likes of Utd and City are in a far more comfortable place than us. We’ve lost direction, perhaps because of the Modric saga and the in-house disagreements (assumptions). We have to show unity once more.

More importantly, we need the players and the manager to get a grip and to remind themselves they are capable of much much more. We got it very wrong today and were duly and deservedly spanked for it. If Harry is keen on self-preservation of his brand name, then he has work to do. Levy has to support him in doing so. And Harry has to respect the chairman at all times.

Losing to a good team is one thing. Losing to a good team and making them look great is another. Losing badly to a good team that don’t even manage to shift into a more aggressive gear is simply shambolic.

Not a good day at all. But with both Manc games out of our system, we can just look forward now. Redknapp, the players – they have a lot to answer for and a lot to give back to the club in the next couple of games to avoid any dramatic twists that might well cause us to unravel further and crisis isn’t the only ‘c’ word quoted by the fans.

This Modric stuff is beyond ridiculous now and Redknapp constantly citing him as the root of all evil when in the past he’s actually called him a model professional is almost touching comedy, the ilk that few will laugh at.

Onwards with pride Tottenham. I want to hear the cockerel crow.

We’ll improve. I still believe we’ll compete for the top four. Arsenal are having their own problems and Liverpool still have to prove their longevity and how they react to loss of form.

Not defending our teams performance today (it was poor), just trying to anchor myself to something to avoid drowning in depression.

We’ve come a long way baby.

Love the shirt.

Only three teams can win the league this season. Man City have the squad, Man United have the experience and we (despite Mancini’s protestations to the contrary) play the best football. The brilliant, attacking, free flowing football which can win us the title. The thing is, if our football is so great then how come Man United and Man City have scored a shed load more goals than us?

Our problem is a lack of goalscorers with only Gareth Bale having a decent strike rate for his position. Although they have great attributes Adebayor, Modric, Lennon and recently Van der Vaart have all been pretty woeful in front of goal. We need a prolific goalscorer who can lead the line and there are only a few realistic targets out there. We all know who they are, let’s just buy one already.

Our biggest game of the season approaches, in which we will be denied our vital man up front when we really need him. Nil desperandum however, because as luck would have it this massively important six pointer has landed in the middle of the transfer window enabling us to make a shrewd and much needed purchase in time to save the day!

That of course is the wise and indeed logical thing to do, so why the feck haven’t we done it? Unless we sign someone in the next two days we are facing a VDV and Defoe front line, which has never worked, against the league leaders. Either that or every club’s least favourite part exchange player Pavlyuchenko. Spare us.

As much as I love Daniel Levy, his brinkmanship does more harm than good. How many real bargains have we got with this technique? VDV was a last minute buy who paid off but we nearly always end up as the club without a chair when the music stops.

Our most impressive signing in recent years was Luka Modric. We came flying out of the trap and bought him at the start of the window, catching other interested clubs on the hop. He also didn’t cost a fortune as we offered a fair price to start with meaning it didn’t have chance to turn into a bidding war.

Why do we now keep coming up with derisory offers for players until their clubs get totally pissed off with us? They can see Levy’s double standards from what he expects to be paid for our players; £20m for Defoe? £15m for Pav? Gimme a break. We pontificate until eventually, inevitably, another club comes along and buys the player.

I’m not saying we should be bidding £35/£40m for players, there are few who are genuinely worth that much (Andy Carroll?) and those who are want wages we cannot realistically afford before we get our new stadium. We can however afford between £20/£25m players and that is the sort of money it takes to secure the kind of targets we are looking at.

If we had bid £20m for Loic Remy at the start of the window before he’d scored two goals and destroyed Lille, I believe he would be a Spurs player now. Huntelaar has scored 26 goals in 27 games which is a fantastic strike rate even for the Bundesliga. He is no spring chicken but that is reflected in his rumoured £17m price tag. Llorente is a top player who can apparently be bought for around £20/£25m. Moussa Sow has agreed personal terms with Fenerbahce, don’t tell me we couldn’t have trumped them.

These are all the type of player we are looking for who can lead the line and score goals. They have all been around long enough to rule them out from being a flash in the pan, and none are living on past reputations like Torres. These can only improve our squad or even first team.

Don’t get me wrong. I know Levy is the man, and the best chairman in the Premier League in my opinion. I also do like the fact that he is a hard bargainer and always tries for the best deal for the club. I just wish that on certain occasions when the need is great he could just be a little less ‘Levy’.

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

Daniel Levy is the man. We all know that, but sometimes he is just a bit too…’Levy’.

The latest big name we are being linked with is Loic Remy. He is the most important player at his club, Marseilles, who have qualified for the knockout stages of the Champions League and have designs on finishing high enough to qualify next season also. Achieving that and staying in this season’s competition as long as possible will be very lucrative, so how does it make financial sense to sell their best player at this time?

This is a similar enough situation to the Modric/Chelsea saga for Levy to relate to it. He must realise that even if this goes to the wire he won’t get the player for less than something like £20m at least, and with the Man City game approaching with Adebayor ineligible this is no time to string things out.

Our chairman is dreaming if he thinks Pavlyuchenko can be used in part exchange, especially at the ridiculously inflated price he has valued him at. It’s reported that he wants £15m for the Russian who we bought for £13.8m. Bearing in mind that he has been something of a disappointment and doesn’t even get a game now we would be extremely lucky to get £12m for him. Most teams would be looking to sign him for nearer £8m.

I’m not trying to tell Levy how to negotiate, he is a master at it. What I would say though is that if ever there was a time to go against the grain and seek a more expensive deal which doesn’t go to the last day of the season, or more likely not happen at all until the summer, this is it. Remy is likely to star for France at Euro 2012 and if he is as good as a lot of sources are claiming we could end up being priced out of the move anyway.

Is he worth the money? Depends what we can achieve if we sign him. Should we be going for other targets before him? Possibly, but with Adebayor likely to leave in the summer we are likely to be looking for another front man anyway. Perhaps Damiao, although he has a buy out clause of £50m.

Up for that one Daniel? Hmm..

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

If reports are to be believed, Daniel Levy is set to try and convince Harry Redknapp to commit his future to the club with a transfer war chest of up to £60 million. I hope he is successful, as my opinion of Harry has changed over the last season or two, as has many people’s I think.

When he came in I thought he was a very safe pair of hands to turn things around. Upon achieving  fourth spot in the league I thought he had done very well, but that a lot of managers could have done it with a squad like ours. When we had that record breaking debut season in the Champions League I decided he was a much better manager than I had given him credit for, but while we should try and keep him it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we did not. It would be an opportunity to try for an even better manager.

This season however, is something else. We are playing at a level as high as I can imagine any manager getting us to and with a consistency which I’ll admit I thought was beyond Redknapp’s capabilities. I am now of the opinion that keeping Harry Redknapp at the club is absolutely crucial for our continued growth, in the short term at least. Not because I think he is the greatest manager in the world but because most of the progress we are making is built around his relationship with the players and his way of doing things.

I gather I’m not the only one who thinks this way, as a deafening silence has descended from the once very vocal Harry Redknapp hate mob. Time was I couldn’t post any article without a bunch of people slagging him off and saying they couldn’t wait to get rid of him. Surely only an imbecile would think such a thing now.

Arsenal fans have also changed their tune. At one time the general sneer was that Spurs had a crap, dodgy manager and we would be found out sooner or later. That one has pretty much died on it’s arse so now the gloat from them is that we are going to lose our manager soon, and will then be found out.

It’s true that if he were to go, Harry would be leaving us in the lurch. We have some very coveted players in our squad and short of bringing in Mourinho ( which ain’t happening, I’m just saying) at least some of those players are gonna be on their way when the manager they know and love leaves the club. Bale and Modric for sure within a couple of seasons.

So is £60 million the answer? It’s a lot of money, but I am virtually resigned to losing Redknapp in the summer. I think the FA (court case permitting) will definitely offer him the England job and I am pretty much convinced that if they do then Harry will um and ah and make all the right noises (not wishing to seem too keen, especially if he wants the job to pay Capello type wages) before saying yes please.

If I were Harry, I would bite Levy’s hand off for that kind of money to add to an already gilt edged squad but I would be flabbergasted if he turned down the England job. It’s something he has clearly always wanted and I think he feels it is the pinnacle of what a manager can achieve. More fool him I think. England will win nothing with him at the helm as we don’t have the players, and he will be remembered as an also ran. If he stays put, there is a very genuine chance of the guy being revered as a Spurs legend in years to come.

A lot can happen in a few months, so who knows. I just hope that we will not wind up being victims of our own success.

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

Jude Law Brainwashing His Son Into Supporting Spurs. Good Lad.

I don’t know about you, but I (often for the most spurious of reasons) hate an awful lot of ‘celebrities’ and people in the public eye. If they want to be in my face and make me know them, then they have to be prepared for me to hate their guts.

Every now and again though, I hear or read that one of those ghastly people has the one redeeming feature that in those impressionable years as a wee child they made the right choice and started supporting Tottenham Hotspur.

In such a circumstance, I cannot help but feel a glow of warmth towards whomever it may be and feel a little less inclined to slaughter them whenever they come up on my TV. Or if they are truly awful I may end my rant with ‘but at least they’re a Yid’.

Rupert Grint, the ginger tosser from Harry Potter? Spurs fan. Bryan Adams, Canadian git with a guitar? Spurs fan. Bruce Forsyth, gurning 180 year old tap dancing bell end? Spurs fan. Admit it, even if you hated Jude Law before, you like him that little bit more now seeing him sat there in a Spurs scarf.

So, in case you are giving a fellow Yiddo a hard time without realising it, I’ve compiled a list of our celebrity fans. You never know when this list could come in useful. I shall now want Williams to win in the Grand Prix, and am more likely to choose Easy Jet than another similarly cheap and nasty competitor.

Also in the unlikely and undesirable event that I should find myself taken hostage by a deranged and volatile Charles Bronson, I may take his mind off of simultaniously pissing on me and punching me in the face by enquiring whether he thinks Spurs will finish above Arsenal that season.

CELEBRITY SPURS FANS (excluding players/ex players)

Bryan Adams – Musician

HRH Sheikh Nader Bin Salman Al Khalifa – King of Bahrain’s nephew (cheque book!)

Mike Ashley – Newcastle Chairman

Jamie Bamber – TV actor

Dirk Benedict – TV actor (Face from the A-Team)

Brandon Block – DJ

Jeff Brazier – TV presenter (ish) and Jade Goody’s ex

Kenneth Brannagh – Actor

Charles Bronson – Maximum security lifer at Dartmoor Prison

Pierce Brosnan – Actor (James Bond)

Emma Bunton – Spice Girl (who grew up near me and I never liked)

D’arcy Bussell – Ballerina (posh totty)

John Cena – WWE wrestler

Nicky Clarke – Celebrity hairdresser

Phil Collins – Musician (Genesis)

Peter Cook (Deceased) – Comedian

Phil Cornwell – Comedic actor

Anthony Costa – Singer (Blue)

Bobby Davro – Impressionist

Iain Duncan Smith – MP

Peter Ebdon – Snooker player

Chris Eubank – Ex boxer

Chris Evans – Ginger TV/radio presenter

Rupert Grint – Actor

Colin Firth – Actor

Michael Fish – TV weatherman

Peter Forsberg – Hockey player (Colorado Avalanches)

Bruce Forsyth – Entertainer and TV presenter

Phillip Green – Former BHS magnate

Stelios Hasi-Ioannou – Easy Jet owner

King Harald V of Norway

Natasha Kaplinsky – News reader

Patsy Kensit – Actress

Jude Law – Actor

Ray Liotta – Actor

Linda Lusardi – Ex page 3 model

Trevor Macdonald – Veteran news reader

Stephen Mangan – Comedic actor

Bob Marley (Deceased) – Legendary singer/songwriter

Barry McGuigan – Ex boxer

Michael McIntyre – Stand up comedian

Paul Merton – Comedian

Warren Mitchell – Actor (played Alf Garnett, a West Ham fanatic. Love the fact you can get West Ham T-shirts with his face on them.)

Rhona Mitra – Actress/model for Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider games

Sid Owen – Actor/Rickaaaaaaay!

Roger Lloyd Pack – Actor/Trigger from Only Fools And Horses

Neil Pearson – Actor

Leslie Phillips OBE – Actor

Brad Picket – UFC fighter

Mike Read (Deceased) – Stand up comedian/actor

Salman Rushdie – Author and elusive Muslim botherer

Jerry Springer – TV presenter

Lord Alan Sugar – Former chairman

Shania Twain – Singer/songwriter

Brian Walden – Political journalist

Jo Whiley – Radio 1 DJ

Paul Whitehouse – Comedic actor

Frank Williams – Formula One team boss

Amy Winehouse (Deceased) – Singer/songwriter/musician/celebrity junkie

Terry Wogan – Veteran TV/radio presenter

Anthony Worrall-Thompson – Celebrity chef and purveyor of the Tesco’s five finger discount

Paul Young – Singer

And, as we all know, Osama Bin Laden was a Gooner. More embarrassingly, so is Piers Morgan.

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

According to Sky Sports, AC Milan have failed in their attempt to bring Carlos Tevez to the club. It is thought that a last try at reaching agreement with Manchester City has failed, and the deal is more or less dead.

Inter Milan were rumoured to be interested a while back, but it’s thought that was just mischief making to cause a bit of aggro for their local rivals.

Although moneybags PSG were reportedly interested at one point, they haven’t followed up on it. One feels that was just newspaper talk anyway.

So there you go then. He’ll be on his way to us! Nobody else wants him, we can afford £200,000 a week wages and Man City will be just aching to gift another world class forward to one of their closest rivals for the title.

OK, so it ain’t gonna happen. But if it did?

Breaking the bank with a huge signing on fee to supplement more reasonable wages for a player of Tezez’s calibre would make Spurs an incredibly tempting bet for the title. It would have to be a very serious offer, the type which only reckless chairmen make often, but as a one off it would be do-able.

Now I certainly don’t envisage Tevez joining Spurs at all, I’m not ten years old. But he’s a prime example of the kind of big, big signing which would be worth the money to deliver a title to the lane for the first time since ‘61. If we qualify for the Champions League next season as we certainly should, don’t expect us to compete on two fronts and have another tilt at the title. This is a golden opportunity which could feasibly not come around for another ten/twenty years.

We should go for it and throw caution to the wind, just this once. To dare is to do!

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

In a season like this there are many players to take the accolades, but one name which doesn’t immediately jump to mind is Brad Friedel.

If you are waxing lyrical about the great performers so far you might well say our success is mainly down to Modric, Parker, Bale, Adebayor or even King. Doubtless Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy have been immense (for their ensuring a Scott Parker and Luka Modric midfield between them if nothing else) but on the field those are the names you think of. So why not Friedel?

Sure if somebody suggests the keeper then all agree he is a big factor, but he doesn’t get talked about as much because he hasn’t done that much to catch the eye but that, of course, is the key. The better the keeper, the more boring they are.

I can barely remember any particularly great saves he has made this season. One or two, but not many. Heurelho Gomes last season made plenty of fantastic fingertip saves which had the pundits drooling. He also virtually threw the ball in quite a lot.

Great saves do not make a great keeper. Knowing what you are doing, being in the right place, coming out at the right time and reading play so you rarely get in the position to have to make a super save to bail yourself out is what it takes.

Brad Friedel is not in any top ten in the world list, but he is a proper keeper with bundles of experience and has been absolutely vital to us this season. Who knows where we would be with an eye catching alternative like Gomes? I’d go so far as to say 9 points worse of at least, which would have us outside the top four.

So is Brad Friedel our main man this season? Who cares.  He’s boring.

COYS!

You can follow me on Twitter @ RobertReedUK

Then I realised Robbie Keane was at Villa and we’d rather been there before.

Everton at The Lane. That’s what the reports are telling me. Did anyone else feel a pang of sympathy for David Moyes yesterday after he spoke about his misery of watching Tottenham pull away from the Merseyside club? The Toffees have become unstuck from the teeth of the Champions League chasers in recent times and instead spiralled off into mid-table anonymity. Of course, a lack of bones was highlighted as the underlining cause for the club’s halted progress (there’s no denying the Scot operates with funds akin to that of a village hall’s pastry budget) but they struck me as words of a defeated man. I hope everything’s alright at home…

We’re not without our own problems, of course. Sure Tottenham are sitting high and handsomely as we speak but there’s definitely the whiff of crisis about our potential selection tonight. Sandro’s out, Parker’s almost certainly out. King, too, is buggered as is Gallas. Leaving us with a potential midfield pairing of Luka Modric and…erm. Well, let’s not dwell on the details, shall we?

Suffice to say, it doesn’t look good. I wonder if they’ll be any calls for some eccentric tinkering from ‘Arry tonight? Pushing Kaboul into midfield, perhaps, and slotting Bassong in beside Dawson? It’s risky- madness, some would say. But it’s exactly the kind of hair-brained genius that gets you noticed (not to mention the women). Alex Ferguson does this kind of stuff all the time. So, you know, it might just work.

In other news we drew Watford in the Cup. Not a bad little result, that. Not only did it see us miss some of the stickier trips of the round it’s also given me a tremendous scope with which to come up with some clever and more importantly hilarious headlines for the upcoming tie. Something about girls kicking hornet’s nests. It’ll need work but I’m pretty sure it’s a winner. Three points tonight, please.

Follow me on Twitter and I’ll stop listening to your answer phone messages