Norwich City 0-0 Chelsea: Lack of cutting edge lets us down once again

Another frustrating day out and about for the Chels, who, despite a heap of possession and a fair few scoring chances, failed to break down a resolute Norwich City side at Carrow Road. Good result for them; us, not so much. That, as we said in our innovative preview, is another golden opportunity wasted. Yeah, [...]

PL Preview: Norwich City v. Chelsea

We’re off to Carrow Road tomorrow. My suggestion? Take the morning train.
It’s a fixture that promises to be kind of fascinating. For one, it wasn’t easy at Stamford bridge at the end of August; it sure won’t be easy in Norfolk, either, with Norwich undefeated in four and currently in ninth. Tough sledding. Let’s take [...]

National Lampoon Presents: Chelsea’s Majorca Vacation

Shit’s about to get weird.

‘Twin Beds?! FUCK YEA!!!’

Well then. Looks like Andre’s still got a few surprises up his sleeve. Amidst the clamor of the impending QPR cup tie, JT’s court drama, transfer shenanigans, and the general malaise that has descended upon our club this year, the boss has elected to take the team on [...]

Chelsea 1-0 Sunderland: World’s most glorious assist separates sides in nervy affair

It has indeed happened. We have reached the magical plateau of 40 points, and are thus unlikely to be relegated. Three cheers. As for this fixture, it was a right odd one, with the Chels looking equal parts sterling and benumb, particularly in defense. Chances, there were a fair few for both sides. Still, regardless [...]

Wolverhampton 1-2 Chelsea: Super Frank starts the new year off right

Frank Lampard will grab the headlines. Fernando Torres deserves to share in the spotlight. The maligned striker capped an excellent shift with one more killer pass, this time to Ashley Cole who went on to set up Super Frank for a trademark finish with only minutes to play. I don’t want to wager on just [...]

Rant Box: Chelsea v. Aston Villa

Apologies for not producing a killer match preview before this one, but work has been one hateful bitch this week. Anyway, do we really even need to look ahead to this New Year’s Eve fixture when we have classic images like the one below?

Yes.

Who: Aston Villa (est. 1874)
What: Barclays Premier League, Round 19
When: 31 December, [...]

Rant Box: Chelsea v. Aston Villa

Apologies for not producing a killer match preview before this one, but work has been one hateful bitch this week. Anyway, do we really even need to look ahead to this New Year’s Eve fixture when we have classic images like the one below?

Yes.

Who: Aston Villa (est. 1874)
What: Barclays Premier League, Round 19
When: 31 December, [...]

Rant Box: Wigan v. Chelsea

We need a win. This man needs a game.

Team news and the like from 12:15pm EDT
Team sheets
Wigan Athletic
Al-Habsi, Figueroa, Alcaraz, Caldwell, Stam, Jones, Diame, McCarthy, Sammon, Gomez, Moses. Bench: Pollitt, Crusat, McArthur, Gohouri, di Santo, Watson, Rodallega.
Chelsea
Cech, Cole, EBJT, Bane, Bosingwa, Romeu, Meireles, Lampard, Mata, Sturridge, Drogba. Bench: Turnbull, Torres, Mikel, Malouda, Ferreira, [...]

Jose Enrique v. the Premier League Revisited

There has been some talk of late about Jose Enrique, and in particular there have been questions asked as to whether his form has dipped after a flying start to the season that saw him make a strong case for being the league’s best left back—an…

Chelsea Deny Cole’s Improper Conduct Accusations

Chelsea’s Ashley Cole was accused of improper conduct after the match the Blues won against Manchester City, but the accusations were denied by Chelsea officials. Reports are saying that people heard Cole shoutind: “F*****g have some of that&#8…

What Has Happened To Antonia Valencia?

Third season syndrome? Too much pressure? Fear?
Whatever you want to call it an alarming feature of United’s season this season is the disappearance of Antonia Valencia’s form. Manchester United signed the Ecuadorian for a reported fee of …

FIFPro World XI’a 5 Chelseali Aday…

2011 yılının en iyi futbolcuları arasından seçilecek FIFA FIFPro World XI 2011′e aday 55 oyuncu bugün açıklandı. Adaylar arasında 5 Chelseali isim bulunuyor… Kaptan Terry, eğer bu yıl o 11 oyuncudan biri olursa 6. kez bu takıma seçilmi…

PL Preview: Chelsea v. Wolverhampton

Whatever the hell you think is going on at Chelsea right now, whatever you think the club is mired in – A Carlo-esque bad moment, crisis, et al. – it doesn’t matter. What we all can agree on is that anything less than a win this weekend at home to Wolves is going to see [...]

PL Recap: Chelsea 1-2 Liverpool

It is not a question of the owner having patience. I have said we have set out to build something new at this club and the club is committed to what we are building for the future. …
The perspective is we have to win every game if we want to make this a title challenge. [...]

A Little Too Ironic (Yes, I Really Do Think)

Well, we draw with Swansea and lose to Stoke but when the big ones roll around, we’re always up for it. A 2-1 win at Stamford Bridge keeps us in the race for Champions League football and extends Kenny Dalglish’s impressive record against C…

Tea and Crumpets with We Ain’t Got No History

After a few weeks off due to international breaks and facing sides nobody really cares about—or ones we simply find too distasteful to bother talking to—Tea and Crumpets decided it was about time to shake off the rust, so we headed out for a bite …

Why England’s Victory Over Spain Was A Freak Result Not A Great Performance

England beat Spain, and the BBC made it sound like we were better than them! Ahem let’s just pause for a second and have a reality check! Firstly, what the hell was that formation?

2006 and all that jazz…..

The Interlull, as it is commonly called now, what a total bore… It’s almost as bad as the Close Season and at times like these, many of us start to think back a little. I was sorting out some old papers recently and came across a couple of …

Video: Super Frank v. Spain + FA’s tunnelcam

As you well know, Frank Lampard captained England today versus Spain. It was his second time leading the Three Lions, and I’d say he did fairly well for himself.
Super Frank scored the only goal in a solid if unspectacular 1-0 win over the European and world champions at Wembley.  Cue the Euro favorites headlines (ridiculousness). [...]

Football Matters Part II: Beyond the pale, the money game and the mercenaries

Author’s Note: This is the second installment of the ‘Football Matters’ series, you can read the first part ‘Two colors inside and the divisions outside’ here. Football and mercenaries, two terms that sound unrelated and s…

Football Matters Part II: Beyond the pale, the money game and the mercenaries

Author’s Note: This is the second installment of the ‘Football Matters’ series, you can read the first part ‘Two colors inside and the divisions outside’ here. Football and mercenaries, two terms that sound unrelated and s…

Photo of the Day: Ashley Cole’s poppy boots

You may have heard about this little disagreement between FIFA and the English FA over the use of poppies for England’s friendly against Spain on Saturday. A compromise was finally reached, but that didn’t stop Nike from taking things into its own power-tripping hands.
Nine England internationals will wear Nike boots embroidered with a poppy for [...]

MotM Poll: Blackburn 0-1 Chelsea

They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words. Case in point:

Road warrior
Battered, bloodied, and fairly rubbish. No matter. Chelsea still manage to hold on for a much-needed win at Ewood Park, 1-0, over a Blackburn Rovers side that probably deserved a point.
Who cares. We’ll take it, however the hell it comes.
One thing that [...]

Boring

Boring! The team? The performances? Well neither, really, at least not what I’m talking about today. Today I’m talking about ex-players. Ashley Cole remains one of the best left backs in the country, but his behaviour whilst still at the &#…

Pl Recap: Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal

Boring, boring Chelsea. I reckon the talking heads can go ahead and euthanize that once trusted, but now extremely tired – and inaccurate – saying. We have been anything but boring this season – for good and for bad.
Saturday? Bad. Really fucking bad. Somehow, some way, in a match that defied all logic, Chelsea managed [...]