Arse Wars – Landen Calrissian

Hello Gooners! SithTheGooner here and It’s SEMI FINAL DAY!!! SHE WORE, SHE WORE… Sorry, I’m a little bit excited today because today is the day that it’s confirmed that we will be going to WEMBLEY for a Cup Final for the first time since 1998! I really hope that I don’t have to edit this through tears of bitterness and resentment later on tonight…

So Carling Cup Semi and with that probably a little bit of squad rotation. That means that the next player to be revelaed in the ARSE WARS universe is likely to get some playing time. To introuduce him to the world I give you the Obi Wan to my Luke Skywalker, Mr Daryl Booth. Ooh and we have a new poster too! And we have some good news to you ARSE WARS fans from overseas who haven’t been able to view the videos due to copyrught issues… just watch this space

In the meantime, watch this short movie explaining the ARSE WARS universe so far. I dare you not to laugh watching it! http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/yoGIYcLyaWjBjh7j

Over to Darthyl Booth…

Welcome once again to the ARSEWARS series. It’s where the universes of Arsenal collide with Star wars.

Once again, I will thank Keith for springing me from my maximum security mental institution so I may scrawl some fragmented thoughts down for this fine blog series.

I will begin now as I am sure the guards will be along soon to collect me. I just hope they don’t go all `One flew over the cuckoo’s nest` on me..

So today I want to discuss Lando Calrissian. He appeared in The empire strikes back as the long time, yet un-trust worthy associate of Han Solo. In the film he sells his `friend` Solo down the river to the empire. But, in a moment of good conscience he manages to escape from the cloud city and save Princess Leia, Chewbacca & Luke.

Now, I always liked Landos character. It shows the audience that everyone can earn a second chance. He was Judas to Han Solo’s Jesus. So the story and life lesson is one that pre-dates the Star wars story by over a millennium falcon (see what I did there). Nothing quite wins an audience over like a bad guy who changes side when he realises the folly of his ways.

Sure, we have to excuse the stupid tache and silly cape. I feel sure it was a nod to the good old days of Hollywood when bad guys wore either black hats or long capes, much like Bela Lugosi (google him kids)

Yet, despite his turning his life around and playing a part in over throwing the empire Lando never gets the girl. He just accepts that Han & co are the big shots. He doesn’t complain, he just slopes off and knock one out over a worn out picture of Leias real mother (Mrs Nasri snr) and sighs afterwards in that sort of `disgusted with yourself` kind of way. HEY! Don’t you judge me!

So, where does this tie into the Arsenal universe? Well, like Lando is Judas to Hans Jesus, Denilson, some would say is Judas to Cesc`s Jesus. Well technically it would be, Denilson is Judas to Jesus`s Jesus, but that may confuse some.

Denilson, ah bless the lad. He has made a few bad passes in his time, failed to track back with urgency and make a tackle. Also recently he besmirched our very own Cesc when he stated Arsenal have no leaders. Ok, not quite the same as effectively helping to put Cesc in carbonite stasis, but you get my drift.

Yet, despite Denilsons faults, what Gooner would not want to see him turn it around and suddenly become the guy Cesc would loan his shooting boots to if needed? I’d love it if we see Denilson score a goal and run right to Cesc and his big hairy Wookie mate (Sagna) to celebrate in a way that said “hey, see I AM a good guy”

I guess time will tell if he can make that change over. One things for sure, he can get his own bloody picture of Leias mum!

Well the sirens are here and the men are ready to sedate me and put me back in the special trolley for a ride to the cell. Until next time, adios.

Oh, you can catch me on twitter http://twitter.com/#!/darylbooth if you so wish.

Cheers for all the support and good feedback folks, much appreciated! I’m off to cheer on the Gunners against the Pirate-Talking-Tractor-Boys!! 8-0 easy!! Until the next time…

Arse Wars is a collaboration between myself and the brilliant Daryl Booth. For more of the same, visit Daryl’s brilliant blog rantingmad.com

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