Arnesen: the hamburglar

If you see this crafty thief hanging around the Cobham area, please inform Mr Abramovich and his snipers. The hamburglar is a headhunter that infiltrates big-money organisations to uncover unappreciated talent.

The hamburglar was undercover at Chelsea for some time – spending millions on nurturing some of the world’s brightest stars. Now they’re ready to shine although, as their chances are so limited at Chelsea, the hamburglar has smuggled them to, well, where else, Hamburg.

A trio of the academy’s top talents have already made the move: Mancienne, Sala and Tore. It’s rumoured that the hamburglar will return for Bruma, too.