Absolutely gobsmacked.

I write this amid the news that Andy Carroll is on the brink of moving to Liverpool for a transfer fee of £35m. This would make him the most expensive British player of all time, the 8th most expensive player in history (9th if you count Torres to Chelsea) and equal to the sum Venky’s paid for Blackburn – one whole Football club.

Now, there are mitigating circumstances. Liverpool are due to be flush with the thick end of £50m they are no doubt going to receive from Chelsea in exchange for Fernando Torres. Andy Carroll is young, English and it’s January. Also, Newcastle’s attacking strategy is based on Joey Barton’s delivery to the head of Carroll so his value to Newcastle is significant. All these things inflate the transfer fee. I accept all these factors. What I don’t understand is why Liverpool felt compelled to go along with it. They could have assessed these factors and thought “We may want a striker and we may want to make a statement but this is too much”.

They have just signed Suarez from Ajax and in doing so have replaced Torres. They could do with another forward but not so desperately that they need to break the bank for a player who has performed for half a season in the Premiership AND is currently injured. Also, there are clearly other options. Names like Benzema who is out of favour at Madrid or Suarez’s Uruguayan partner Diego Forlan could both realistically be dislodged for significantly less than it’s costing to get Andy Carroll to Merseyside. Presumably, to get the best out of Andy Carroll Liverpool will need to consider playing a lot of long balls towards him. If my club were to spend £35m on a striker I’d want someone who offered more than a long ball outlet. I don’t want to entirely disparage Carroll; he may turn out to be a good player. It is however unlikely, by common reckoning, that he will become a player befitting a record breaking transfer fee.

If you were undecided on whether Football had gone mad, surely this is the proof that it is finally gone certifiably mental!