9-Man United stroll past 10-Man Wigan

First fifteen

For a quarter of an hour on Boxing Day, it seemed like Sir Alex Ferguson had taken the term ‘Christmas surprise’ too literally. By the time that we eventually figured United were playing with 9 men + Evans + Gibson, Evra had already skipped around a static Wigan defence for Park to score his first goal in the Premier League since those days when he only scored against Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea etc. It also slowly emerged during that time that we were playing a kinda sorta 3-4-Gibson-2 with Carrick in defence and Johnny Evans on the pitch.

Second fifteen

Through this period, we got definite confirmation of Evans being on the pitch as he went in two-footed for the first foul United conceded in the game. This after 31 minutes of play and about 63% of possession. Evans on a yellow card at least seemed to offer a bit more promise of making the game more of a contest if he managed to get himself sent off. Or injured (which we will get too later). Apart from that, Wigan got in their first attack of the game early in this period but the lone striker in Sammon couldn’t get his shiny round head on to the shiny round ball. Maybe he has some issues balancing his bodily movements, as also evidenced by…

Third fifteen

Sammon is a big man with a big wingspan. Add to that the fact that he couldn’t get his head on aforementioned cross to head in Wigan’s equalizer and one can clearly discern he is no ballerina with respect to coordination.

Not Sammon

In an unfortunate combination of Sammon’s klutz and Phil Dowd’s interpretation of the words ‘elbow an opponent’, the game effectively ended as a contest as Sammon was sent off for tripping over grass and falling on Carrick’s face. It was definitely over in the next 5 minutes as Berba-top was given enough time in the 6-yard box to loop the ball over his head, turn his body, let the ball bounce, wave to the people in the Z stand and then finish into the net for his first goal in the Premier League since those seasons long past when he was the top scorer. Oh.

Fourth fifteen

Numerical parity was restored in the game as Evans limped off with what was later revealed to be a calf strain. As much as I’m tempted to say good riddance, it is still one person less that we can chalk up on the team sheet/make up the numbers with. So, with 10 vs 10 (and it was to stay that was as Gibson completed the full game) United went in search of their third and got it too. Through a wonderful combination between the ‘right back’ Valencia and the ‘this is how I top scored last season’ Berba.

Fifth fifteen

These fifteens are getting repetitive. As was the general pattern of the game. United go forward, United cross, Wigan clear/concede a corner. United ping in the corner, there’s a bit of a scramble, Carrick at center back sprays the ball back to our front-line from the edge of the box, Wigan’s box that is, repeat loop. Valencia decided enough was enough and finally thumped one in instead of crossing. Of course he scored. Sometime during this point, Rooney came on for 24 minutes of game time, rendering my placing him as captain of my Fantasy team a complete disaster. Total points 1×2=2. Goddamn rotation.

Sixth fifteen

More comical refereeing from Dowd finally gave us the penalty which, in fairness, we should have had two fouls ago as Chicharito kept getting bundled to the ground by the Wigan back four. Of course Berbatov had to make this appear silken as well, and he rolled the penalty into the net leaving Al-Habsi to reflect on such terms as insult, injury, salt and wounds.

That’s two games in a row that we’ve gone 5-star in, with the Fulham result being the more surprising of the two. To be fair, Wigan are quite likely to be one of the three teams which bid us adieu next season. Our next opponents are another of the three. This is the fixture where last year’s scoreline was Berba 5-0 Blackburn. Karma, all the chickens slaughtered by Venky’s would say, is a cruel bitch.